Dan Savage started the It Gets Better Project because he wished he could speak to all those LGBT teenagers having a rough time of it in school and at home. Well, this filmmaker has taken that one step further. At the age of thirty-two, he has a conversation with his twelve-year-old self. The video is better seen than it is explained, so I encourage you to stop looking at me with that confused face and watch the video. (FYI - the video is not gay, but it is geeky.)
Although the tone is very light-hearted, you can't help but wonder what you would say to your twelve-year-old self if you had the chance. My one big regret in life is that I drew consistently until about the 6th grade and then stopped. Why I stopped, I have no way of knowing. I get so envious when I see adult artists able to sit down and whip up something beautiful with a pencil and a piece of paper. I wish I hadn't let that skill atrophy.
In terms of what I would say to my twelve-year-old self about sexuality...well, that's more complicated. I didn't come out of the closet until I was 18. I spent several years in high school under a great amount of denial and was able to fool even myself most of the time. Would I encourage myself to come out of the closet at a younger age? No. I'm not sure I was ready to come out until I left home. I certainly didn't fit in with the mainstream, but I didn't deal with all the issues of sexuality in my teens. I willed myself to be asexual, which, looking back on it, maybe wasn't such a bad idea. I had the best circle of friends a young gay man in a rural town could have and that helped me over the rough patches. We celebrated our "otherness" as opposed to feeling burdened by it, so even though everyone knew that I was different, it didn't need to be assigned any labels. Our group of weirdos was happy being weird in all sorts of ways without explanation.
So what would I say to 12-year-old Keith?
Whatever thing you think is so terrible at the moment? It never amounts to anything. All you'll ever remember are your friendships and successes. Even the bad stuff makes for good stories at a party. So have fun, write, draw and keep a journal.
What about the rest of you? What would say to your twelve-year-old self? What do you think your twelve-year-old self would say to you?
