At the top of the episode, the queens come back to the workroom with fond memories of Lineysha Sparx, our most recently departed queen to sashay away from Season 5 of RuPaul’s Drag Race. They wipe away her lipstick message from the mirror and comment on how gorgeous she looked each week.
The spotlight then turns toward Jinkx Monsoon, who gets a nice compliment on her Snatch Game performance and win. But the spotlight shines ever-so-quickly on her before Roxxxy Andrews steals it away with a nod to her own great performance as Tamar Braxton. Jinkx feels like she doesn’t get enough recognition from the other queens and would like to step out of the shadow of the RoLaskaTox triumverate that has dominated the workroom so much. Jinkx wants to be taken seriously and be seen as a real contender for the crown.
The following morning, the girls get She-Mail from Ru with the message that America’s Next Drag Superstar needs her friends to get by. And all I can think of is the queens have yet another big group challenge ahead of them. The Snatch Game was an all-too-brief respite I guess. Since there are eight girls left, it will be four-on-four!
The mini-challenge this week is a lot of fun: each girl has to apply her makeup in total darkness! Ru puts on some night-vision goggles to scope out the action, and thankfully, we get a peek into what Ru gets to see. Detox makes a funny joke at Coco Montrese’s expense, wondering how she’ll blend all her powders in the dark, while Alaska makes the accurate observation that Alyssa Edwards is most definitely making her funny makeup faces, even though it’s pitch-black and she can’t see the mirror. While the queens struggle to put on their faces, Ru struggles to stay focused and her eyes wander over to the delicious Pit Crew, standing like sentinels in tiny underwear stuffed to the max with those giant packages. Thank you, night-vision goggles!
When the faces are revealed, most of the makeup is hideous. Jinkx has the astute observation that she looks like she’s ready for her career’s funeral in that awful makeup. No argument here, lady. That is a face that could launch a thousand ships… in the other direction! Meanwhile, Detox and Alyssa get some praise for not looking half-bad, though Alyssa’s eye makeup is a little too heavy, even for a drag queen. The best moment of the night comes pretty early on in the episode as each queen sees her done-up-in-darkness face for the first time. We get to see some nice moments of authenticity from the ladies: Detox looks like the smug kitty who just ate a canary, Alyssa can’t take her eyes off her own reflection, and the other queens who didn’t quite nail it don’t seem to mind poking a little fun at themselves. It’s nice to see the queens recognize it’s just drag, hunties. Detox runs away with the prize!
For the main challenge, the queens will be creating an inspiring video a la “We Are the World,” only this anthem will be all about drag, duh! This track, titled “Can I Get an Amen?” will feature three verses and a chorus all written and performed by two teams of three and a team of two, all picked by Miss Detox. For her own team, Detox chooses her besties Roxxxy and Alaska, and assigns the bridge and third verse to them. She puts Coco and Alyssa together (bitch!) for the first verse, and gives the second verse to Jinkx, Jade Jolie, and Ivy Winters. The queens will dress as ‘80s ladies and recording with Ru’s producer, Lucian Piane.
As they dig into the writing process, the problems begin to show among the teams Detox has formed. She is such a shady lady for putting Coco and Alyssa together! And Coco is really letting it get to her. Alyssa worries about Coco’s focus while Coco is scared to be with the tone-deaf Alyssa. Ru seems a little concerned about their lyrics and wants them to find the fun in their song. Ivy and Jinkx vibe well, jamming out as the trained singers that they are, while poor little Jade feels a little left out. Ivy is nervous about Jade – whose face is approximately 98% mouth – and wants to see Jade step it up.
RoLaskaTox rolls right along, but it seems like Alaska is focusing and trying to work hard while Roxxxy and Detox goof off. Alaska gets annoyed and I can’t help wondering if there are some cracks forming in their little supergroup.
During the recording session, Coco and Alyssa cannot get it together. Lucian tries his hardest with them, but Coco is short with him, her head completely out of the game, while Alyssa struggles to stay on beat and on key. And as if I aren’t tucked already, her singing makes my little brothers jump further up into my body, just to escape the wretched noise. Ouch, gurl.
Jade also has some performance issues. Lucian tells her to perform harder, sing louder and own the spotlight. I almost want Ru to stand in the back of the recording session and yell, “Sing Out Louise!” over the music. Ivy nails it with some strong vocals and some great harmonies while Jinkx can apparently hold a note longer than Billy Flynn in “We Both Reached for the Gun.” Two references to classic musicals in one paragraph? Oh, you get it, Miss Kiki!
Meanwhile, in camp RoLaskaTox, the girls don’t seem to be taking anything seriously, which irks Miss Alaska yet again. Roxxxy has a great moment where she gets really confused about the word “sequin.” Oh hunty, if you’re gonna wear something on all your outfits, you should know what its singular and plurals are, and how to use it in a sentence. Reading is fundamental!
The essence of the entire recording session boils down to the few moments we see during the freestyle: Ivy and Jinkx absolutely kill the vocals, Jade sings timidly and avoids the camera, and Coco is completely silent while hiding her face.
Back in the workroom, the girls change for the runway and Coco loses her cool. She throws some shade at Detox while Detox tries to play the innocent instead of owning up to her shit-stirring, instigating and manipulative ways. It’s obnoxious, it’s not cute, and I’m over it at this point. I agree with Detox that Coco likes to play the victim a little too much, but it’s not cool to try to victimize Coco and Alyssa by sabotaging them.
For their runway looks, the queens are instructed to show off their best body part. And speaking of body parts, we finally get to hear all about Detox’s plastic surgery. Her “little bit of plastic surgery” includes work on her hips, ass, pecs, eyes, brow, abs, cheeks, lips, chin, jawline, shoulder and biceps. She is the Bionic Woman, as played by Nicole Kidman.
And now to the runway looks!
First, the worst: Coco’s attempt at punk ugly/pretty. The wig is cool and the cutout showing her organs is interesting, but it’s just not doing it for me as a complete look. Also in the bottom of the looks is Jade. Her outfit is completely hideous. She made it out of unflattering clumps of rainbow-colored wigs sticking out from every orifice, like she’s showing off all the other queens she scalped last pride. And she finishes it off with some granny-panty-esque leotard. No ma’am! Last for me with terrible looks is Jinkx. I’m sorry if it seems like I pick on her, but I’m just not satisfied with what I see on the runway. This outfit looks like she’s a little gurl playing dress-up in her grandmother’s closet. Nothing fits her right and there’s just too much look! I want to shake her shoulders and remind her of Coco Chanel’s mantra to look in the mirror and take off one accessory. This time, it would have been that silly hat.
Then, those who bore me.: Detox – oh, is that your ass crack? Yawn. Alaska, I’m pretty sure all your dresses are the exact same shape. Let’s mix it up a little bit. Sigh. And Ivy, sorry, gurl. You’re an insanely talented dressmaker and this is a bold statement, but it could be much more interesting. And your wig is just not cute this week, gurl. Sorry.
For my favorites this week, I give high marks to Alyssa in an outfit I’d love to show Miss Honey Mahogany. This, my dear, is how you drape! It’s got a gorgeous print and legs that go all the way up. Yes! And lastly, Roxxxy, who wins on showmanship alone. I love the neons, I love the baring of her flesh (when done right!), and I love that moment when she walks out on the runway and BAM! that cape flies open to reveal the outfit underneath. Pure drama and sizzle.
The judges offer up their critiques. Most important is Michelle’s note about this RoLaskaTox nonsense. “Remember, this is a competition. Cliques can be dangerous.” Wise words followed up by the wise observation that Alaska is holding back a little bit perhaps. Is it possible that her closeness to Roxxxy and Detox might actually be preventing her from showing all that she’s got? Or as guest judge La Toya Jackson notes, maybe all we see from Alaska is all she has to show. Michael Jackson’s drag persona has never seemed like such a deep thinker before, but I wonder if she hits the nail on the head with her assessment of Alaska. We shall see, hunties!
In the end, Ivy wins for her prowess in the recording session and her very creative runway look. Detox is safe, but Ru warns her that the judges expect more from her. Foreboding news for someone who found herself in the bottom two last week.
After getting raked over the coals by the judges for their terrible performances during “Can I Get an Amen,” coupled with their awful runway looks, Coco and Jade are up for elimination. The song choice this week, “I’m So Excited,” by The Pointer Sisters, is a great choice, but the fact that the Pointer Sisters are sitting right in front of them has to be intimidating for both Coco and Jade. Neither seems to show any hint of apprehension though, and both they turn in solid lip-synch performances. Jade twirls those drag scalps for all they’re worth in a high-energy performance all over the stage. Coco chooses a different strategy and stays rooted to one part of the stage, turning it out like she owns that little piece of real estate. When the music stops, it’s Coco, shante, you stay. Jade, sashay away.
Jade, I’m a little sad to see you go after today’s performance in the lip-synch. You definitely have some drag chops, but I think today is just your day to go. The moment earlier in the episode when you open up about your coming process is an emotional one, and hopefully something that will resonate with many viewers struggling with similar family issues. Stay Jolie, mon petit chou, as we sing you off…
Elle était si jolie que je n’osais l’aimer…
Look it up, bitches.
Untucked Post-script: Tears tears tears!! Untucked gets real emotional up in the Gold Bar Lounge this week. Oh lawd. I’m not gonna dare try to recap it here because I’ll never do it justice. Cheers to the producers at RuPaul’s Drag Race for putting that together. Do yourself a favor and go watch it. Keep the Kleenex close. Your mascara is gonna run!
Sadly, I will be turning in my regular attendee card at Hardware for the foreseeable future. The doctors have cleared me of all STDs, so I’m allowed to once again participate in sports where balls fly at my face (I can have a social life again, yes!). Each Monday, you can find me playing dodgeball with the queens of Big Apple Dodgeball. The recaps will keep coming, don’t you worry none, but I am sad I won’t get to watch the show with Miss Bebe Zahara Benet. Don’t let that stop you, though!
Until next week, hunties!
