Ah, mid 90s SciFi, how I adored your charming blend of misplaced gravitas and not-quite-good-enough graphics. I never minded your meandering storylines or your attempts to pass off Canadian character actors as Americans* (moot point, with futuristic storylines, non?) because you gave us some real jems in the end. The grandest of these, the Coeur de la Mer if you will, seaQuest DSV (and it’s genius reincarnation, seaQuest 2032!).
-Lucas Wolenczak. Wiz kid who loved to tinker with tech (Stanford grad by 17, fabricated a interspecies translator in his twilight years. you know, at 19.), only child who socialized best with adults. I was him. I loved him.
-Inclusion bonus points: Polish surname (Canada subscribes to the Captain Planet method of casting, always)!
-His best friend is. a. dolphin. A. Dol. Phin. Irrefutable facts of tween girlhood 1) we are POWERLESS against the siren call of those creatures (EE EE EE!), 2) dolphins are a gateway “pet” (dolphins > narwhals/ponies > unicorns!) and 3) protoqueers. blowholes. How could I not love a boy who had all that to offer?.
-That McDonald’s arch of a center part. Essential to every 90s heartthrob (see also: Rider Strong, JTT).
-A flash forward to 2032 delivered a more badass Wolenczak (geek to military detainee chic!), then, allows me to imagine a star date where JB is with us, now.
-Yes, I owned this. Yes, I reenacted plotlines with my bestie Alicia during free period. We were dramatizing with collectibles, not playing dolls! Whatever, shut up.
-A tale of two Ensigns: Star Trek: TNG was just before my nerd awakening, but I really came of age with seaQuest. I will always have a Crusher on Lucas Wolenczak (with apologies to the most fabulous Wil Wheaton).
*Seriously, what is up with these Canuck compositions? X-Files, Stargate, Highlander, BSG... y’all cannot get enough, my northern neighbors!
Unrelated: Not once did Roy Scheider, as Captain Bridger, utter “You’re going to need a bigger boat!” This may be the show's only failure.
Next time: I just feel like people aren’t SEEING the real me!
