The first time I heard about Geeks OUT was over 3 years ago, when I saw a post in Next Magazine. They were having an outing at Barcade in Brooklyn, that was going to be both queer and geeky. Two things struck me about this post; how could one group so deftly "get" who/what I am, and how had I not heard about Barcade before? Like young David (Prodigy) Alleyne, I am bisexual. At the time of this event, I had only recently come out to some friends, some of my closest friends since I had moved to New York. Coming out as bisexual was/is something I've struggled with for many years. There are judgements and assumptions that both hetero- and homosexuals make that, depending on the company I was with, I would just skew towards whatever was easier to define at the time. Living this way makes it very easy to feel like you don't belong anywhere.
It was easier to embrace defining myself as Jewish, as I grew up with my Jewish identity and I look pretty Jewy.
It's also easy for me to define myself as a geek, as I have been reading comic books since I was in elementary school. I used to pretend I was Johnny Storm when I was on the playground with my friends. He was so cool because he could create fire and fly. He also didn't have to hide who he was, everyone knew that he was the Human Torch.
But growing up Jewish in the south, plus being a geek, wasn't exactly an easy thing. Kids can be cruel and they will find the slightest thing that makes you different and try to turn it into a weakness to exploit. I tried to downplay my geekiness once I entered middle school. I only talked about my love of comics and cartoons with my closest friends. But as my attraction for both sexes became apparent to me, I decided to keep that to myself. I felt like I was already so different, adding on bisexual desires to my personality would be a detriment. Once I grew past the emotional and hormonal dodgeball that is adolescence, I began exploring my bisexuality. But I never felt like I belonged to the LGBTQIA community. Beyond my attraction to both sexes, I didn't feel like I was a part of the larger community. Admittedly, a lot of that was my own perception and hang ups, but it still made me feel like an outsider looking in. And that continued all the way until I moved to New York.
When I saw that post advertising Geeks OUT's event, I felt like I had found something that I had been looking for, practically my whole life, a place in the LGBTQIA community to belong. After going to Barcade and meeting other queer geeks like me, I started to become aware of the possibilities that existed before me. Later that year, I discovered that Geeks OUT had a booth at NYCC, and seeing their booth, and meeting founding members Josh and Joey and seeing the passion they have for bringing LGBTQIA geeks together, something clicked inside me. I found my place. I didn't have to segment parts of my personality to feel like I fit in or accepted. Embracing my queer geekiness allowed me to fully appreciate who/what I am, so that I could be true to myself and open and honest with those that love and care about me.
Geeks OUT helped me come out, and when I became a board member, it gave me the opportunity to join such a rich community that I would have never thought to seek out. This is Geeks OUT's 4th year at New York Comic-Con, and every year it has fallen on the weekend of National Coming Out Day. While it would be exciting for Marvel to commemorate NCOD with Johnny Storm coming to terms with his bisexuality after losing his powers and coming out to his crush...
Or if DC celebrated with Wonder Woman breaking things off with Superman and coming out as asexual...
Neither would come as a total shock to long time readers and I'm sure it would drive sales up for the big announcement. But to me, what's important about this day, is finding the strength to accept who/what you are, and knowing that there are people out there who will embrace you and never judge you for it.
Of course you may feel differently. If you were at our panel at NYCC on Thursday, there was a lively discussion about not wanting to be labeled one way or another. Please feel free to comment below about the subject of coming out and what that means to you as a geek or as LGBTQIA.
